The Trouble With Commitment

28 Feb 2016

I could very easily argue that marriage is not so much only about love, but about commitment.


This modern age seems to have a problem with commitment, so much choice, so many options, it’s almost become a throw away culture. Fast food, fast fashion, fast relationships - you’re hot, swipe to the right, you’re not, we swipe to the left (or whatever it is).


So, what is this big problem with commitment?


Why is it we are so quick to throw things and people away? What is this eternal quest for happiness?


Are we all a little lost, wanting to be loved, wanting to belong? Do we actually believe that true happiness lies in material things or in others?


Again, this is an issue of perspective.


We search, we find, our ‘happiness’ subsides, we throw away and we search again. At what point do we break this cycle and commit?


What is commitment anyway and at what point do we walk away?


I’m not about to provide any answers; truth is, there probably isn’t any, everyone is able to derive their own meaning. But what I do believe is true is that if we stand for nothing, we will fall for anything.


I tend to flow through life, more recently; my flow has been very much in full swing.


My flow means I don’t get overly attached to thoughts, ideas, expectations, people or things – I try to live in each moment for what it is and accept things as they come.


It doesn’t mean I don’t plan, I don’t love, I don’t have goals or think of the future, but I’ve just been able to manage my relationship with these things so they don’t consume me to a point that it begins to affect my present.


The problem with flow is that if you’re not grounded in any values, it’s very easy to get lost. A tree rustles in the wind, but the roots remain firmly planted.


So commitment is very much about knowing yourself. What do you stand for? What are your priorities? What will you and won’t you accept?


Once you have a clearer idea of that, then there is at least some reference point that can guide your decision-making process. It makes committing that little bit easier and it becomes clearer when it’s time to walk away.


Commitment is ultimately a decision and the risk of a ‘wrong’ decision is preferable, in my opinion, to the terror of indecision. Sometime silence or indecision is a decision in itself, so listen carefully.


Guess I’m still a little old fashioned in some respects, my word is my bond and I tend to want to surround myself with people that share a similar worldview.


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