The Depths Of Despair
Updated: Aug 7, 2020
When things go well, we always give ourselves the credit
And when things go bad, we blame God or someone or something.
The greatest gift man has been endowed
Is the gift of free will
The ability to choose how we respond to any given situation.
So perhaps all the wars, the pain, the suffering -
Perhaps this is man doing mans will.
Perhaps it’s us we should be blaming.
Perhaps mankind has lost his way,
Completely divorced himself from all that is just and good.
But what kind of a God would allow such suffering?
Well, perhaps the kind of God that respects our individual sovereignty.
One who respects our right to choose for ourselves the path we want to walk.
Our right to exercise our own will or indeed choose to surrender it to something much greater
To something better, something timeless and perfectly just.
You see, without this ability to choose, Love itself simply could not exist.
Because Love expressed in relationship needs to be entered into voluntarily
You can’t force someone to Love you, that’s not how it works.
So why a creation at all if there’s bound to be so much suffering?
Well, nature has embedded within it this duality.
Something that says that Love and suffering are two sides of the same coin, you can’t have one without the other
Love strangely leads to a kind of suffering and suffering leads to Love.
And beyond that,
Love fully expressed ultimately leads to creation, this is the way of nature.
When we Love, we create
It’s the same as asking a parent, why bear children?
Not sure anyone is really able to answer to that question.
But it does seem as though it is a natural extension and expression of Love.
And when a child is born,
She / he too will have a choice to make at some point
A choice to do his / her own will, or surrender it to something or someone greater.
Because to be good, they will have to choose good, for themselves.
Although we may all be born with a kind of pure innocence, there’s no guarantee we’ll walk that path -
So ultimately it's a path we must choose, even when life inevitably beats us down.
But let’s not sugar coat it, this is a human dilemma and Life is fucking hard.
We spend all our time living in fear
Trying to preserve what we have by building more walls,
Instead of liberating ourselves by tearing them down.
How does one even begin to try and redeem a world so far gone and corrupted?
Perhaps there is a divine justice of some kind,
But perhaps it's not of this world?
And perhaps hell is not a place at all, but rather a state of being. A Godless and Loveless existence that we impose on ourselves (and on each other).
My heart bleeds for all mankind, but today, especially for Beirut and the people of Lebanon, they deserve better.
I have been trapped in the depths of despair for some time as I watch events unfold around me and within in me, simultaneously.
But I go on knowing there is still good in the world and that ultimately good always triumphs.
This is my hope and this is what continues to drive me.